forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
