If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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