I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize