ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
