for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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