eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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