I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
