it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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