Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
