Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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