Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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