okay pat passed out under dana's car
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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