she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
