Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
