I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I can't turn off my feet"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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