i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
