I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
