Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
