i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
