My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
