I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
