Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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