I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
