i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
