I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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