Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
