I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize