at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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