It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
