Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
