I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
