i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Girls should come with a carfax report
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
