It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Duck Duck Cougar?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
