the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
