Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
my liver is dry heaving
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
