There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
