What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
