you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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