i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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