Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize