My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
not ubering you a puppy
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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