Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
