I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
