Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
