If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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