Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I could make wine with my vomit
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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