now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
