where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
