Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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