Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
