i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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