Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
