That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
