i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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