Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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