The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
