I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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