I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Are my feet made of real feet?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
