i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
