Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
