no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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