So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Even the bartender felt bad for me
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
