I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
